• To whomever came to this blog searching for "church lady patterns", I can't help you out if you're looking for something like this, but I will advise you to look at Therese's post below to see what this spring's chic church lady is sporting in the kitchen.
  
• To whomever was researching "church lady tea social": it's a highly recommended activity. In fact, I think I may just have to organize one next week. Maybe on Monday, when the Church Ladies are recovering from the Chivalrous Men's Dyngus Day celebrations…
  
• To the lucky person who happened to need "ALTAR CROCHET VESTMENT patterns": best of luck finding something tremendous.
  
• Also, there seem to be quite a few people looking for stain removal advice (especially red wine stains). Eek. Here's the original post with a few different strategies.
  

I could spend way too much time looking at the Sitemeter statistics….

Support Your Local Pastor!

Fr. Finigan at The hermeneutic of continuity brings tell of church ladies handing out holy cards to priests entering Chrism Mass at St. George's Cathedral, for the purpose of thanking them for their work and showing them support. What a fantastic effort! Even if you don't do something so organized, I want to encourage Church Ladies everywhere to take a moment this week to thank their priest (after all, you'll probably be seeing quite a bit of him this week).

What to do with all those palms you received today?

Make a palm cross, roses or cones, a crown of thorns, or even a pretty cool looking bird.

From the Directory on Popular Piety and the Liturgy (139):

The faithful should be instructed as to the meaning of this celebration so that they might grasp its significance. ... Palms or olive branches should not be kept as amulets, or for therapeutic or magical reasons to dispel evil spirits or to prevent the damage these cause in the fields or in the homes, all of which can assume a certain superstitious guise. Palms and olive branches are kept in the home as a witness to faith in Jesus Christ, the messianic king, and in his Paschal Victory.

Finally, and above all, from today's Office of Readings (Saint Andrew of Crete): "Let us run to accompany him as he hastens toward his passion, and imitate those who met him then, not by covering his path with garment, olive branches, or palms, but by doing all we can to prostrate ourselves before him by being humble and by trying to live as he would wish ... Let us present the conqueror of death, not with mere branches of palms but with the real rewards of his victory. Let our souls take the place of the welcoming branches as we join in the children's holy song: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."

Holy Week Nightmare

And this is why Pious Women are necessary. Apparently the Onion didn't realize our great importance in the Liturgical Laundry process when writing this hilarious report:

Shroud Of Turin Accidentally Washed With Red Shirt

VATICAN CITY—The damage occurred when Pope Benedict XVI, who was on laundry duty, did not notice a brand new bright-red Hanes Beefy-T in the Holy Whirlpool washer.

HT to the Curt Jester

Fashion in the Kitchen

I've long admired Anthropologie's dresses (mostly, alas, from afar), but it wasn't until I visited one of their stores this morning that I discovered their charming apron collection. Among our favorites were the Nosegay apron and the Sewing Basket apron, but any of them would be perfect for the next time you need to help out at the parish potluck or feed a hungry crew of seminarians without spoiling your impeccable Church Lady ensemble.

Help!

I could use a creative gift idea for my beloved god-daughter's first Holy Communion. Any suggestions?

Faith of our fathers

The uber-parish had a display of some of its antique vestments (all of which are in circulation) during the coffee social today.

White humeral veil

Altar cloth

Detail of gold fiddleback

Another detail of the gold fiddleback

Red cope

Violet cope
(My apologies for the photo quality- the 12 cups of Esther's Coffee had kicked in)

A big thanks to the uber-parish sacristan for his enthusiasm

Holy grounds

In this world of corporate donations to Planned Parenthood and unethical business practices, a Church Lady could be hardpressed to find a coffee company that meets her standards.

Enter Esther's Coffee, a pro-life fair trade Christian coffee company that donates to Rachel's Vineyard.

Consider serving their coffee at your next parish gathering- my parish had a tasting of different flavors today. I guarantee you won't be disappointed!

St Joseph Novena

Below find Novenas to St Joseph for priests.

(Late for the Ordinary Form, early for the Extraordinary, as St Joseph's day is transferred to March 15 & April 1 respectively.)

NOVENA PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH FOR PRIESTS
O glorious Saint Joseph,
who, on the word of the angel speaking to you in the night,
put fear aside to take your Virgin Bride into your home,
show yourself today the advocate and protector of priests.
Protector of the Infant Christ,
defend them against every attack of the enemy,
preserve them from the dangers
that surround them on every side.
Remember Herod's threats against the Child,
the anguish of the flight into Egypt by night,
and the hardships of your exile.
Stand by the accused;
stretch out your hand to those who have fallen;
comfort the fearful; forsake not the weak; and visit the lonely.
Let all priests know that in you
God has given them a model of faith in the night,
obedience in adversity, chastity in tenderness,
and hope in uncertainty.
You are the terror of demons
and the healer of those wounded in spiritual combat.
Come to the defence of every priest in need;
overcome evil with good.
Where there are curses, put blessings,
where harm has been done, do good.
Let there be joy for the priests of the Church,
and peace for all under your gracious protection.
Amen.

A PRIEST’S PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH
Saint Joseph, I take you this day as my advocate and defender,
my counselor and my friend.
Open your heart to me as you opened your home
to the Virgin Mother in her hour of need.
Protect my holy priesthood
as you protected the life of the Infant Christ
threatened by cruel Herod.
In darkness bring me light; in weakness, strength,
and in fear the peace that passes understanding.
For the sake of the tender love that bound you
to the Virgin Mary and the Infant Christ, be for me, Saint Joseph,
a constant intercessor and a shield against every danger of body,
mind, and soul so that, in spite of my weaknesses and sins,
my priesthood may bring glory to Christ
and serve to increase the beauty of holiness in
his bride the Church.
Amen.

PRAYER TO SAINT JOSEPH FOR A PARTICULAR PRIEST
Saint Joseph,
I present to you this day Father N., priest of Jesus Christ,
and beg you to be to him advocate and defender,
counselor and friend.
Open your heart to him as you opened your home
to the Virgin Mother in her hour of need.
Protect his holy priesthood as you protected the life of
the Infant Christ threatened by cruel Herod.
In darkness bring him light; in weakness, strength,
and in fear the peace that passes understanding.
For the sake of the tender love that bound you
to the Virgin Mary and the Infant Christ,
be for him, Saint Joseph, a constant intercessor
and a shield against every danger of body, mind,
and soul so that, in spite of his weaknesses and sins,
his priesthood may bring glory to Christ
and serve to increase the beauty of holiness
in his bride the Church.
Amen.

Prayer source: Fr. Mark
Mantilla tip to my fellow Church Lady Christi

Confidential...

...to the Altar Server who sent something home with me to be repaired during Spring Break: It's fine; it just needed a bit of love, some Woolite, and soft water.

p.s. You can thank Saint Veronica for your small miracle. Oh, and I may have promised her your first-born daughter.