Bringing little ones to Mass

Faith and Family has an article today with some really sound advice, and as always whenever parenting is the topic there's lots of discussion in the comment box.

More Last Minute Knitted gifts

It isn't often that one likes a sequel more than the original book. That is certainly the case with Joelle Hoverson's More Last Minute Knitted Gifts (see projects here- Ravelry login required). I checked out a copy from the library recently, and am smitten with it. There are so many beautifully simple, yet stunning projects. I currently have the Kid's Vest in progress for my son (it's perfect subway knitting), and have Leah's Lovely cardigan queued for myself. Alson on the horizon Baby Bonnet and Baby Cardigan on the horizon for a couple co-workers who are expecting. If one was an afghan knitter, Joelle has three amazing designs: Nesting Squares, Entrelac Baby Blanket, and Bright Stripes- cheerful for a new baby, but perfect for anyone in need of a little comfort. I'm also planning on knitting several Soft Baskets to in which to place small Christmas gifts. If you are looking for inspiration for knitting for your gift stash, look no further!

Part of giving handknits to kids is detaching from their fate. Do I want it to be used and loved, or do I want it to sit in a drawer? If the former, well then: I have to accept that it won't stay pristine.

I have a sort of mental rule, though, that I want them to wear the gift for at least as many hours as I spent making it before I can consign it to its uncertain future. I can't quite bring myself to think about the ratio of work time to wearing time for this gift. It's not a pretty ratio...

I didn't get to the Office of Readings until after they left for school, and it felt like a nudge from heaven to see that today was the feast of St. John Bosco. (He is best known for his work with orphaned and abandoned boys.) Here's a snippet from today's second reading: They are our sons, and so in correcting their mistakes we must lay aside all anger and restrain it so firmly that it is extinguished entirely. There must be no hostility in our minds, no contempt in our eyes, no insult on our lips. We must use mercy for the present and have hope for the future, as is fitting for true fathers who are eager for real correction and improvement.

My initial reaction was to feel sorry for myself: all that work, and poof! -- it's gone. Then I thought about how many gifts God has given me that I have failed to appreciate or even keep track of. I think I will swing by the school with a little note for my sad boy: "You are more important than the mittens."

[full post at Light and Momentary]

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I keep forgetting to invite you!

If you are in Minnesota over Memorial Day weekend, please join us at the 12th annual Minnesota Catholic Home Education Conference and Curriculum Fair. Our keynote speaker is the ever-popular Dr. Ray Guarendi and we're featuring several other fun, inspirational, and informative speakers. You can learn more about some of them from their online presence, (Father Sam Medley, Maureen Wittmann, Margaret Berns, Cathie Baier, and Ana Braga-Henebry), or check out the Conference speaker page for everyone's bios.

In addition, we have over 100 tables of vendors selling new books, used books, fun things to make your school more entertaining, useful services, Catholic colleges, and the list goes on!

You can register through May 9th at the low pre-registration price (and there's no additional charge for registering online) but registrations will also be taken at the door during the event. It's a great weekend with a Catholic theme and we hope to see you there!

Tea Party Follow Up

I hated to let this get lost in the comments box, so will reply with more detail to Jemajo's questions about our Tea here:

Is there any chance that you have a link/notes/etc., to the agenda you had for these days, both for the girls and the boys? The topics discussed, any literature that you referred to, etc.? I would love to start this already this year. Such a "programme" (for want of a better word) would be a far better approach than that which is served up in the public schools. I also think that it is far more beneficial and appropriate to have sons and their fathers in one setting, while the daughters and mothers are in another. Excellent idea!!

Mother/Daughter Tea Schedule:

• 2:00 - Arrival (photos are taken as guests arrive)
• 2:15 - Praise and worship begins (We use our main church area)
• 2:30 - Welcome and opening prayer by the day’s emcee
• 2:40 - It’s Great to be a Girl (Given by a young woman, this talk covers the many ways in which God makes girls unique from boys, that he knew us each before we were born and created us to be girls.)
• 2:55 - Music (As a short transition between speakers, we use this time to have someone sing a special song. Fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis Chapman works well.)
• 3:05 - All in God’s Plan (This talk is given by a female doctor or other medical professional who is known to be a solid Catholic and will give advice from the perspective of the Church’s teaching. It covers the importance of exercise, good nutrition, and getting enough rest. She’ll also talk about basic body changes a girl can expect at the onset of puberty, and the unique blessings of being a girl.)
• 3:30 - Everyone moves into our gathering area where the tea party is set up. They find their seat and get a glass of punch.
• 3:40 - The History of Tea (A brief talk introducing the elements of a tea party and the foods being served today.)
• 3:48 - Introductions (Guests are given instruction on how to make a proper introduction and practice by introducing themselves to the others at their table.
• 3:50 - Prayer and Tea Party
• 4:15 - When I Was Your Age (Given by a teen girl from the parish who is considered to be an excellent example for others. This talk covers the importance and practical tips for modest dress, choosing friends wisely, improving your faith life, and developing a good relationship with your mom.)
• 4:30 - Listening and Responding to God’s Call (Ideally given by a sister who wears a habit, this talk covers her testimony on how she heard God’s call to her vocation and what her life as a sister is like.)
• 4:45 - Q & A. One of the overall goals of the day is to protect the innocence of the most innocent girl in attendance. To make sure that happens, none of the speakers ever takes direct questions from the audience, but several times during the day, beginning with the Welcome, guests are invited to write questions and place them in the Question Box for the end of the Tea. In addition to answering questions of general interest, there are a few pre-arranged questions that we put in the box every year (What do I do if I get my period while I’m at school? How do I tell my mom that I think I need a bra? Where can I find modest clothing?), and we simply “run out of time” before any inappropriate questions can be answered. Girls are reminded that if their question wasn’t answered, they can always talk to their mom.
• 4:55 Acknowledgements and Closing Prayer

There are a few other ways we protect the innocence of our young guests:

1. All parents are required to come to the Parent Night I described here. It’s there that parents are given the opportunity to ask specific questions about what will be covered at the Tea and Barbecue events so they can make an informed decision about whether or not their children are developmentally ready to hear it.
2. We have a Trial Run with all the speakers a week or two before the events. Speakers present their talk to the event coordinator(s) and are given feedback to make sure topics are covered in a sensitive way.
3. We have a number of teen girls who volunteer to serve for the Tea. All are given clear guidelines for modest dress and reminded that they are role models for all the guests.

The boys' event should have the same four core talks (It's Great to be a Boy, All in God's Plan, When I Was Your Age, and Listening and Responding to God’s Call), and questions are handled the same way. I think they play an active game at some point in the day, and their food is a lot more casual. They served pizza for years, but a more involved new coordinator arranged for a wild game theme last year and this year they had some pretty outstanding barbecue.

In the bigger picture, these events are Tier I of a three-tier plan that spans all ages from pre-puberty through high school. You can see the overall plan in this pamphlet and contact the Archdiocese of St. Paul/Minneapolis for more details.

A Mother Daughter Tea Party

Each year our parish hosts a tea party for girls aged 9-13 and their mothers as part of a larger program entitled All In God’s Plan. The goal of that three-part ministry is to inform parents of the Catholic view of human sexuality and to aid them as they communicate it to their children.

While our tea party, and it’s male counterpart, the Father/Son Barbecue, were last weekend, the events actually began several weeks ago with a required parent night where a speaker gave an overview of the very helpful document, The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, experienced parents talked about practical ways they taught the topic in their own home, and a medical professional gave a brief overview of adolescent body changes, NFP and related issues. Parents were able to ask questions and evaluate the topics to be covered at the Tea and Barbecue events to see if it would be appropriate for their children to attend.

The outline of the Tea is always the same:

Guests arrive and are invited to have their photo taken in a cute little area all set up with Easter flowers and tea things. (The photos are developed right away as a souvenir of the special day together.)

A small group of mothers and daughters lead the others in 15 minutes of praise and worship time.

The first talk is given by a young woman from the parish, or someone recommended by the diocese. It’s Great to be a Girl! tells the girls about the blessings of being female and God’s unique love for us.

Next, we hear from a female Catholic doctor or nurse about nutrition and exercise for growing girls, and basic body changes a girl can expect.

Everyone moves into our social hall for the tea party to begin.

A teen girl from the parish gives a talk entitled When I Was Your Age. The girl chosen is always someone considered to be an excellent example for these younger girls. She talks about the importance of modest dress, choosing friends wisely, taking your faith life seriously, and developing a good relationship with your mom.

Next we hear from someone with a religious vocation about how she heard God’s call, and what her life is like as a religious.

The day ends with a very controlled Q & A session and a closing prayer.

We’ve been doing this for twelve or thirteen years and every year the evaluations are overwhelmingly positive. Parents appreciate the tools to do this job well and mother and daughters love the special day together. It’s not uncommon for people to attend 2 or even 3 years in a row, and often girls who are too old to attend as guests will return to help prepare food and serve the tables.

My role in the event is to manage the kitchen and tomorrow I’ll post a few notes about creating a tea party for 100 people.

This event was developed in our Archdiocese and you can contact the Office of Marriage, Family, and Life if you have questions. Several of the Church Ladies have experience with this program and we'd be glad to answer your questions also. Just email or leave them in the comment box.