Taking a Break

The findings have surfaced with ominous regularity over the last few years, and with little notice: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.

Read more here on the vital topic of stress and burnout among members of the clergy. Although most of the article is written about the issues Protestant clergy face, I can't help thinking about the priests I know. Do they get a break? Do they have regular down time? How demanding of them am I? And perhaps most important, what can I do to better support them?

Ordination Sweaters

Ordination season is upon us. And while there are many options (see our "Gifts for Priests" posts), I'm currently exercising a preferential option for knitting sweaters.

I'm hard at work on the Twisted Pine Pullover for Deacon Pat, who will be Father Pat in a few short weeks. I had expected to fly through this sweater- after knitting a DK Aran sweater for my husband for Christmas, I thought a simple cabled worsted/bulky weight would be done in no time. The main thing that's slowing me down? The dark yarn.

Will I finish in time? I hope so! But as I knit to the finish line... er neckband, I have a few do's and don'ts to share.

Do
1. Pick a pattern commensurate with your skill level and the time you have available.
Here are a list of some nice patterns that are free or available from your public library:
Ben
Leo
85-6 Pullover (a Tree of Life-esque motif)
Cobblestone Pullover
Durrow
Jamesey
January Aran Sweater (EZ)
#17 Man's Cable Sweater
Smokin'

Also, substituting a simple knit and purl pattern can make a stockinette pattern look more elegant. Just make sure you get the same gauge.

2. Knit the front first. Push comes to shove, you can knit the back and sleeves in stockinette.

3. Consider a vest instead, especially if it's for a warm climate. Vests have less positive ease than a sweater, so it will knit up faster.

4. Pick a washing machine friendly yarn. Sensitive to wool, Berroco Comfort has been my go to yarn. I quote Therese, "This is acrylic?" The heather line is especially nice.

5. Use needles that contrast with the yarn for maximum visibility.

Don't
1. Knit in black, navy, dark green, etc unless you have a lot of sunny daylight knitting time. Burgundy, slate blue, oatmeal, and gray are all nice masculine colors that are much easier on the eyes and brain.

2. Start too late. It's better for a project to be gift wrapped in the closet for months than to be weaving in ends on the way to the cathedral.

3. Make it too hard on yourself. If you have a group of Church Ladies that knits similarly enough, farm out the pieces. Just make sure the yarn is all in the same dye-lot and matching parts are blocked to the same size.

Do you have any other tricks of the trade or patterns to share?

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The Year For Priests: Minimum Requirements

Last Sunday I picked up a helpful little pamphlet entitled Five Ways to Support My Parish Priest published by Our Sunday Visitor, with an imprimatur by the Church Ladies' beloved Bishop D'Arcy. For the reasonable price of only $14.95 for 50 the first thing I'd recommend you do is purchase some to distribute at your parish.*

I suppose the five points outlined would be radically new levels of support for some, but Church Ladies will recognize them as minimum requirements:

1. Pray for your priest and let him know you are doing so. Private prayer, certainly, but also consider ways you can publicly pray for your priest.

o The United States Council of Catholic Bishops has a lovely prayer on their site available for distribution. Our bishops recommend it be prayed "during the Prayers of the Faithful, at the conclusion of Mass, and/or at the various meetings of the parish community."

o In our parish, we’ve just started a project where families can adopt a priest and pray for him specifically. We’ve identified 26 priests who serve our parish by hearing confessions, leading retreats, filling in for Masses, etc. We created a card for each which includes a little bit about him (including his photo, a brief bio on his primary assignment and how he serves our parish), and a prayer. The cards are randomly distributed to all the students in our religious educations program and families are encouraged to pray for "their priest" throughout the year.

2. Actively participate in your parish life. Go to Mass, volunteer to support the various ministries and programs there, and donate money to keep things running.

o Now obviously going to Mass is a given. (If you are not joyfully and prayerfully attending the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass at least one time each week, I am directing my most stern Church Lady look at you right now. You feel repentant, don't you?)

o But go beyond that and consider what you can give back to your parish community. I am positive they need catechists, people to serve coffee after Mass, people to help with funeral hospitality, people to distribute food baskets during the holidays, people to do basic office tasks, people to lead the Rosary before Masses - the list is endless. One thing I love about my parish is its commitment to plugging everyone into some kind of volunteer service. It builds up our community life exponentially and allows us to use our combined humble talents for great works of service to our beloved Lord.

o And obviously, this take some money as well. Do your part and give 10% whenever possible.

3. Have realistic expectations.

o Yes, your priest is acting in the person of Christ for your parish. No, he is not God. Your priest needs support, affirmation, rest, nutritious food and yes, even regular time off and vacations. He will be better able to serve you if he gets these things so do what you can to make them happen.

4. Refuse to be part of the problem.

o Avoid gossip, criticism, and negativity toward your priest (and priesthood in general) in every form. Gossip is sin, so call it what it is and avoid it just as you would every other sin. Undue criticism and a generally negative attitude does nothing to build up parish life.

o It is particularly damaging for your children to hear you criticizing your priest on the way home each Sunday. Go out of your way to find positive things to say and save the rest for private conversation between adults.

5. Show appreciation!

o Church Lady Lucy has posted several ideas over the years for tangible ways you can show appreciation for your priest.

o Notes of appreciation are always a wonderful surprise and even an email will serve the purpose if you’re pressed for time. Just be careful that you don’t ruin the gift by attaching some condition to it (“Thank you, Father, for praying the Roman Canon and wearing those beautiful vestments yesterday. I look forward to the day when you'll finally be able to do something about the music also.") Be sincere and save your suggestions for another opportunity.

*Of course, you'll want to check with your parish office for policies on distributing materials first.

The best part about waking up

is a little bit of the Eternal City in your cup!

Caffe San Eustachio, the best coffee in the world in my humble opinion and that of food critics the world over, is now imported by Gustiamo Foods. Now I can relive my Roman days, which were spent less than a block from this fine establishment.

Caffe' Sant'Eustachio is a Roman legend. This is the coffee bar where Romans in the know stop for their liquid fuel----daily doses of espresso and cappuccino. Located in the heart of Rome between Piazza Navona and the Pantheon, Sant'Eustachio has been producing its signature coffee since 1938. Sant'Eustachio coffee is slow roasted over wood on the premises without chemical processing. The beans, selected by the owner Roberto Ricci, are a blend of 100% Arabica. The taste is smooth and sweet and the acidity low.

William Grimes, formerly of the New York Times, advised those in the U.S. seeking a perfect espresso, "When the need for a real espresso becomes over powering, buy a ticket to Rome, tell the taxi driver to head straight for the Sant'Eustachio Caffe. The espresso will be perfect. A little expensive, but surely worth the trouble."

All my bags are packed...

I'm ready to go to Seminarian Pat's transitional diaconate ordination!

As a memento of the occasion, I have assembled a Seminarian Emergency Kit containing:

Cardinal Cushing's Social Manual for Seminarians
Irish Saints (Emergency Spiritual Reading)
Sewing Kit
Lint roller
Green Scapular (because you never know when you'll need one)
Deck of playing cards
Emergency Latte Fund
Our Lady's University decal for the Paschal Mystery Machine Central Edition
Holy cards to give to the children (a long time dream of Seminarians Joseph & Pat)
A trophy for the best altar boy in the parish

and the sign for when neighbors of the House with Mary on the Gazebo pick me up at the airport!

April showers

Some games to while away the April showers.

Mystery of the Abbey is a whodunit game with a twist. A monk has been murdered in a medieval French Abbey. Players maneuver their way through the Abbey trying examining clues and questioning each other to find out who is the culprit. A masterful game of deduction!

The Settlers of Canaan takes place in the territory of Canaan off the coast of the Great Sea. Each player represents a tribe of Israel seeking to settle in Canaan Guide your tribe through the fertile lands of Canaan. Each hex space will yield resources that you can cash in for roads, settlements and cities. Harvest resources of stone and ore from the land to help build Jerusalem and receive King David's blessing. Harvest timber, grain, wool, and brick to build more roads and settlements to expand your territory Work quickly Your opponents are moving to settle the most fertile parts of Canaan You also need to be wary a plague could come upon you at any time and destroy your harvest.

This 2nd expansion for Thurn and Taxis is actually two in one! In Audience, each player sends 5 clergyman to attend an audience with the Pope in Rome. The players endeavor to make certain the carriages with the clergyman arrive, but not too early! A player who arranges for his cardinal to arrive at just the right time will score more points than the player who manages the same with a simple priest. In Offices of Honor, the players try to use the office holders as evenly as possible, in order to receive different office tiles. The more different tiles a player can return at one time, the greater benefits he receives. All Roads lead to Rome contains two expansions. Whether you play Audience or Offices of Honor or both together with Thurn and Taxis, they will take you and the game to a new dimension.

I remember playing a board game called Limbo that was a Catholic doctrine version of Trivial Pursuit on high school confirmation retreats. Does anyone else?

As a priest was leaving our post-Mass brunch this weekend, someone commented on his obviously-handmade scarf.  He told us that right after Vietnam, he and a couple other priests took turns saying Mass at a nearby army base.  There was a pious woman there who was particularly appreciative of their services, so she crocheted three scarves, one for each of them.  "One was brown, one was orange, and one was green.  I got the green one," he told us, clearly pleased with his choice even 30 years later.

The moral of the story?  Well, just remember this story next time you're wondering what to get your favorite priest.  The downside is that you can probably only give that gift once per priest (or at least, only once every 30 years or so).

Gift ideas for Father

A guest post from FrB

Obviously the gift will depend on how close a friend the recipient is, how much money you're willing to spend and whether or not you're pooling with a bunch of people.

Now, the obvious gift for an ordination is a vestment of some sort... If you know the ordinand's taste well then this can be a very much appreciated gift. If you don't mind it not being a surprise, then I'd strongly recommend you consult with the ordinand first. He may already have enough stoles, etc... or he might want one in a particular colour. It'd be annoying to receive 4 white stoles and to have to go out and buy a purple stole after ordination. Another nice gift for an ordinand to receive is a liturgical book. Again, consult with the recipient. A considerate priest-friend gave me 'Pastoral Care for the Sick' (the rite for Communion for the Sick, Viaticum, Anointing, etc...) when I was made a deacon and it's obviously something which I've used a huge amount. Likewise, my copy of The Order of Christian Funerals and The Rite of Penance were gifts, and I'm reminded of the donors when I use them. Fr Sean Finegan's 'Consecrations, Blessings and Prayers' is an excellent resource, and I think any priest would appreciate it. A gift token for a liturgical/theological bookshop might be appropriate too.

I wouldn't recommend getting a pyx. I got one when I was ordained deacon, and another 4 or 5 when I was ordained priest. I think most newly ordained priests probably have several pyxes. Anyway, liturgical gifts are ideal... practical and very meaningful, but I'd strongly recommend consulting the recipient first. Newly ordained priests also probably receive enough nice pens to last them a lifetime.

Moving away from the liturgical, probably the most practical gift I received in my first year of ministry was the GPS my brother gave me. Parish ministry involves a lot of driving, sometimes in unfamiliar areas, and there are lots of addresses to remember. Other useful bits and pieces that I've received - black shoulder bag suitable for an alb and stole, leather folder for documents and a number of pieces of art to decorate my rooms in the parochial house. In terms of clothing, a warm cap, gloves or scarf might be appreciated by a priest for the winter.

What to give a priest

Check out Fr. Z's post and others' comments for ideas for priest's gifts. There are also some sewing tips in the combox.

Here are some excerpts:

-If you know anything at all about your priests, gift cards for shops appropriate to their needs or interests would be very welcome. That doesn’t mean that a group of people couldn’t pool their resources to get, for example, vestments or some other things priests may appreciate. But if you are simply trying to make a nice gesture and have no idea what to do, and you think cash is too "crass", the gift cards are handy.

-It is generally not a good idea to give a priest a vestment or chalice... The missions are filled with lesser quality vessels and vestments that were either given to priests or donated to parishes in memory of a loved one. I remember that the last parish I served in had 4 (not kidding) plain, polyester Rose chasubles that people had donated over the years because they wanted to give something “unique.”

-The past few years I have been giving my priest and deacons prepaid gas cards..sure helps with the considerable traveling they have to do.

The Church Ladies suggest don't overlook making Father something, such as a nice black sweater. Check out Ravelry for ideas. We also remind you of our well received gift basket of years past.

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Merry Christmas, Father!

I live in a diocese where the local ordinary quite rightly emphasizes rectory living for priests. Theory and practice, diverge however. Although the priests for a given town may live together, the schedule of different parishes may frustrate building a community life. The ordinary challenges of the priesthood, especially for newly ordained priests, can become exacerbated by loneliness.

My own parish is staffed by a religious order who share in a very fulfilling Rule. Instead, I put together this hamper for my spiritual director and all the priests in that rectory. It is my hope these ingredients for simple meals will help them build a communal life. I even shared my top secret recipe for Linguine with Clams!