Letters from Sts Peter and Paul

For several years, I have wanted to incorporate Mary Reed Newland's idea* of sending each member of the household a selection from an applicable Petrine Epistle on what was then the solemnity of St Peter (now extended to St Paul as well). Not having the faith in the delivery schedule of our rural post office, I opted to use my eldest son's toy mailbox instead, which both accentuated the fact that the Epistles are letters but also that it wasn't St Peter who directly sent him the missive.

Now, with a child who is an early reader, seemed a good time to start. For my newborn, I chose 1 Peter 2, 2-3; my preschooler 1 Peter 1, 14-16; my six year old 1 Peter 2, 17; for myself 1 Peter 4, 8-9; and my husband 1 Peter 5, 2-4. This led to a fruitful discussion about the parts of the Bible and specifically the New Testament.There's no reason that this practice couldn't be extended to the Conversion of St Paul (January 25) and the Chair of Peter (February 22).

*"Summer Saints," The Year and Our Children

20 Ideas for staying in touch

Today I had a conversation with a very sad mom of a college freshman.  She's excited about her daughter's fantastic school, but concerned about the changing family dynamics and they're all having a hard time adjusting to this beloved daughter's absence.  Since I've been in that same phase of life for the past 10 years or so, I thought I'd jot down a few things that have worked for us along the way.

1. The post office is your new best friend!  I don't care if you email, text and call every single day; there's nothing quite so wonderful for your daughter as finding something in her campus mail box!
2. It's obvious, but make sure you always have stamps and envelopes on hand and let everyone in the family know that they are encouraged to write as often as they'd like. (And it doesn't have to be a multi-page, formal letter - it's just as much fun to get a picture drawn by your 6-year-old brother as it is to get a 8 page letter from your mom.)
3. Pre-print mailing labels with her address so it's very easy for everyone in your family to send a quick note any time.  
4. Make sure relatives also have her address and remind them every now and then that mail is still really, really welcome.  
5. Let someone else pay your postage.  It's fun to order things online and simply have them shipped to your student.  If you have amazon prime it'll be there in 2 days with no shipping charge.  (I'm looking at you, 12 pack of Clif Bars for only $10.49.) 
   
6. You remember how small that dorm room is, right?  Keep that in mind if you send any gifts.  I was just looking at care package companies that are advertising the great advantage of their reusable containers.  Sure, you could find a use for that cute punched-tin tub in your house, but would you still want it if you were living in a space that's about the same size as a walk-in closet?
7. The one kind of space she may have in her dorm is wall space.  Send things to brighten it up!
8. All of my kids have gone to schools that have a national chain coffee shop on campus.  Gift cards were easy, practical, small, and appreciated gifts. 
9. Is her birthday during the school year?  Enlist the aide of every friend and relative you know to bombard her with cards and emails during birthday week.
10. Blogging is easy and free.  Start a family blog with newsy tidbits and pictures of the ordinary things you're doing from day to day to help keep everyone in touch.
11. Is she on facebook?  If so, you might want to be also.  It can be a fantastic introduction to her new friends and a window into the everyday bits of her life.  I can't tell you how blessed I've been by becoming FB friends with my daughters' school friends!
12. Think carefully about food gifts.  It seems kind of pointless to send candy and chips for several reasons, but homemade Special K bars - yes, please!  
13. Anyone who is living on campus has a food plan, but it's still nice to have some snacky things for late night and for grab-and-go breakfasts, just in case she's running late to that 8 a.m. class.
14. One year I got together with some other moms to send a group version of final's-week care packages.  The eight of us each provided 8 of the same item, divided them up, and paid to mail to our own kid.  So one mom brought 8 packs of granola bars, another brought 8 ziplocs of mail-able cookies, another brought 8 packs of roasted nuts, etc.  (Basically like a Christmas cookies exchange with a different focus.)  Not only was it a little more cost effective, but it was fun for the moms, the packages were more creative, and all our students were reminded of all their "adopted moms" who were at home, still thinking about them. 
    
15. Is there some favorite food that's not available in the dining hall?  One year my parents vacuum sealed some dill pickles and mailed them to my college girl.  Why on earth would the school not have pickles every now and then?  I have no idea, but they didn't and she mentioned missing them.  And seriously, she was NOT expecting to get pickles in the mail.  I have also been known to mail a box of favorite breakfast cereal to Indiana.  Possibly more than once. 
16. See if you can set up some kind of scheduled phone date.  One year it was convenient for my daughter to call on Sunday nights, so we were both able to schedule around it.  Some of those calls lasted for hours and hours, late into the night (more accurately, early into the morning).  I may have been tired some Monday mornings, but it was a great arrangement for us both.
17. Our church's youth group has a branch that sends care packages to parish college students and those in the military.  All I have to do is provide a current address and a couple times a year (Advent and Lent) they send some snacks, faith-based items, and simple things to keep my daughter connected to the parish.
18. Can you think of small things to make her dorm room a little more homey?  I know of parents who have sent a very small Christmas tree (12 inches or so) and a string of lights to hang around the window.  Does your family have favorite Christmas music?  (Send a CD.)  She's probably only on campus for a couple weeks in December, but it's final's week and she's probably looking forward to Christmas break.  Little things like these are just a nice reminder that she'll be home soon! 
    
19. Speaking of Christmas, be sure to keep up family traditions!  If you like to put small gifts in your children's shoes for St. Nicholas day, be sure to mail college girl a few things before December 6 as well.  If you're really lucky, you may have access to a cooperative roommate who can engineer a putting-them-in-shoes surprise component.  The same concept applies for Valentine's Day, etc.
20. When you go out to visit and (inevitably) eat at restaurants, resist the temptation to take only your family.  Have your daughter round up a few friends and/or her roommate to bring with as well.  It's a great chance to get to know them and you'll probably learn more about campus life than you would if it were only her there. 

If you have more ideas, I'd love to see them in the comments box!

A Church Lady find!

Found at The Parish Yard Sale:
2 packages of Crane stationery for a dollar a piece!




Image source

For today's to-do list

Mother Teresa stamps go on sale today. I plan to buy a ridiculous quantity.

The Seven Deadly Sins of Parish Website Design

Here are 7 quick ways to absolve your parish website of some serious sins that endanger its sole purpose of leading the faithful closer to Jesus Christ and His Church.

1. Turn off the music, eliminate any cheesy animated gifs and flashing text, remove any visible visitor counters and get rid of (what you might think are) really cool animated menu thingies. They are not near as cool as you think they are. I promise. This is precisely what Jesus was talking about in scripture when He said, “and if thy right hand scandalize thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee.” Cut them off.

(continue reading at the full article at the National Catholic Register)

Stamped with Episcopal Approval

Stamps are miniature documents of human history. They are the means by which a country gives sensible expression to its hopes and needs; its beliefs and ideals. They mirror the past and presage the future. They delineate cultural attainments, industrial works, domestic, civil, and social life. In a word, these vignettes give a vivid picture of the world, its occupants, and their multifarious endeavors. –Francis Cardinal Spellman

Last weekend, I unexpectedly toured the Cardinal Spellman Stamp Museum, featuring the collections of His Eminence and President Eisenhower. I admit, I was predisposed to like the place: as a young priest, Father Spellman was pastor of my parish and I have a connection to the women's religious order that once ran the museum. Cardinal Spellman was a great philatelist; the permanent collection features his own stamps, while the exhibitions change monthly.



This postcard was sent by one Eugenio Cardinal Pacelli (who became Pope Pius XII) to Cardinal Spellman's mother. What a great piece of history!

Tis the Season: Spring Interview Season

The Church Ladies have professional experience in a number of fields including, but not limited to: parish and diocesan administration, the non-profit sector, education, the arts, and architecture/engineering. We believe that women bring a unique perspective and much needed voice to the workplace.

My job has always had a strong geographical commitment, so as a result, at less than 5 years after graduation, I have been on over 100 interviews. As spring interview season and job fairs approach, I'd like to share some tips that I've gleaned through the years (including the memorable spring break of my senior year at Our Lady's University, which seemed to be spent entirely on the Metro-North railroad).

SETTING UP INTERVIEWS:
-See if your field has a professional organization website with job postings.

-If you are looking for a job in a faith-based context, check out catholicjobs.com, the diocesan website, or the local Catholic Charities website. It might not hurt to call over to HR with the latter two; some places don't keep their websites up to date. If you are interested in education, call the Catholic Schools Office of the diocese.

-For other nonprofit jobs, check out nonprofitjobs.com

-For jobs in higher ed, I strongly recommend HERC. Smaller institutions might belong to independent consortiums, so google "independent colleges" and your area.

-Word of mouth is great. Ask, ask ask.

-Take advantage of your alumni connections. Our Lady's University is very good about facilitating networking. If you are still in school, ask if your department maintains a list of alumni and their professional connections.

-Narrowly focused job fairs, such as those set up to specifically recruit students from your school/ school's department- can be rewarding. In my experience, smaller is better, excepting fields that hire a lot of employees, like public education.

-Schedule your interviews at least 3 hours apart. I have had good interviews that lasted from 15 minutes to 2 hours and counting. You never know.

APPAREL:
-Check out my earlier post on buying a good dark suit.

-If you are interviewing at several offices over a few days, consider buying a second suit. Depending on your complexion, I'd recommend grey, navy, or chocolate brown. Pick shirts or camis that can go with both suits.

-If your interviews include trudging through spring slush, consider investing in a pair of dressier walking boots you can keep on during your interview, or trade out for your dress pumps if you would rather.

-A stylish briefcase/large purse makes a good first impression. It should be big enough to fit a ring binder inside. Interior pockets are a plus for your wallet, keys, etc.

-Lightly apply make-up and cologne.

-Unless you are interviewing at a parish or chancery, swap out your religious jewelry for the Church Lady Classic, a string of pearls. Modern HR policy forbids discrimination on religious grounds, but you can never tell what will set someone off. You can be an example of the faith- after you get the job.

-Have a small emergency kit: clear nail polish (for runs in stockings), stain stick, safety pins, umbrella, headache remedy, and gum/mints.

PUBLIC SAFETY:
-Interview season may be the first time you have been in a metro area alone. Be safe.

-Make an index card for every interview with: date/time, the name of organization, address, interviewer, phone number, and brief summary of the organization. When your GPS picks the wrong one of six highways named after Boston's Irish bishops, you'll be glad to have a direct contact. If taking public transportation, note the nearby stations and schedules. Keep this card in your coat pocket for easy reference.

-Someone should know where you are. Share a list of interview locations and times with a parent or roommate.

-Don't talk about your travel plans in public.

-Bring your charged cell-phone, but turn the ringer off.

-Sole proprietorships can offer a more flexible work week and a wider professional experience. But go with your gut here. If you feel uncomfortable with the proprietor, or the office is very remotely located, don't take the job.

BEFORE THE INTERVIEW:
-Confirm your interview a few days ahead of time.

-Print off extra copies of your resume, at least one for each interview. I know you emailed it to them already... but they misplaced it. Or gave it to a colleague for review. Their kid drew on it. The dog puked on it. Don't take it personally. Have another to hand out.

-Consider having business cards made.

-Arrange your documents in a ring binder or folio. Check that your portfolio is up to date.

-Print off the company's home-page and list of recent ventures. Talking about these expresses your genuine interest in the organization.

-Think of creative ways to describe some of your faith-based activities for the public sphere. You led a book-study? Translation: Experience facilitating small groups.

-I strongly recommend reading Drucker's "What NonProfits are Teaching Business."

AT THE INTERVIEW:
-Arrive early.

-Speak clearly and cheerfully.

-If asked about a skill you lack, express your willingness to learn.

AFTER THE INTERVIEW:
-Send a thank you note promptly. Use professional stationery.

-Follow-up as necessary. It can take longer than you think for some hiring decisions to be made.

Good Luck! The Church Ladies are praying for you.

The Official Stamp of Church Ladies

With this stamp, the U.S. Postal Service recognizes Mother Teresa, who received the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 for her humanitarian work. Noted for her compassion toward the poor and suffering, Mother Teresa, a diminutive Roman Catholic nun and honorary U.S. citizen, served the sick and destitute of India and the world for nearly 50 years. Her humility and compassion, as well as her respect for the innate worth and dignity of humankind, inspired people of all ages and backgrounds to work on behalf of the world’s poorest populations.

[full USPS press release]

As if you needed a reason...

It's never clear who makes these things up, but someone has declared today to be National Handwriting Day. We suggest you celebrate by creating a piece of hand-written correspondence, perhaps with your fountain pen. Practicing your calligraphic skills would also be appropriate.

It also happens to be the anniversary of the birth of John Hancock.

New Years Resolution: Quality over Quantity

As I reflect on the new year and feel the obligation to pick the Greatest Resolution Ever (tm), I come up with several ideas for things that I just *know* will make me a better person: I should read more, eat less, pray more, complain less, etc. As I think about it, though, a theme appears: "Quality over Quantity".

I keep thinking about a post I read over at Faith and Family yesterday about choosing a one-word resolution. The idea of having a "theme" for the year is intriguing to me. Having one word or phrase to really ingrain on my mind seems like a more sustainable way of accomplishing goals than having a few unrelated resolutions.

In the hope that perhaps one of my resolutions will spark something in your mind, here are a few areas in which I'm planning to enact that phrase this year.

Correspondence

Over the summer, I exchanged several letters with my roommate, who was several states away. Yes, we could've chatted on instant messenger, and probably would have scored a higher word count. Instead, I have a small stack of letters on beautiful stationery, filled with complete sentences, wonderful thoughts, personal confidences, and no "LOL"s or ";-)"s (which I use as much as anyone in online conversation). Not to mention the importance of having something physical. I have trouble finding blog posts I read two days ago, but I know exactly where those letters are. In a world filled with digital photos, e-books, and yes, blogs, having something tangible to keep in a box and look back upon is still important. As I wailed to my Pious Gentleman once when he was expressing his distaste for letter-writing, "But you can't put IM conversations in a pretty box in your wardrobe!"

A friend of mine wrote a letter a day, each to a different person, every day of Lent last year. I'm probably not going to be so rigorous, but I'm going to make it a point to write more letters. 44 cents and half an hour of my time is a small price to pay, I feel.

For more reading about handwritten notes, check out this post from last year.

Reading

I've come to my annual realization that I don't read nearly as much as I should. Class reading excepted, I'm certain I read less than 25 entire books this year. I would use the college student excuse of having "sooooooo much hoooooooomework," but then I realize that I spend far more time than I want to admit reading blogs all day. Obviously, I'm no enemy of blogs, but I have to wonder just what percentage of even the best blog is as edifying as a piece of classic literature or the writings of one of the saints. I'm still trying to decide on a reasonable goal for the year, but am finding it hard given the unpredictability of schoolwork and my schedule. In the meantime, I'd love to hear suggestions for things I must read. I'm open to fiction and non-fiction – anything you've found important in your own life.

Prayer

Enough of the half-hearted rosaries during which I'm just thinking about what I have to do tomorrow. This year, I'm making specific – and attainable – goals for my prayer life. What's more, I'm going to share them with someone else whom I know will keep me accountable. For myself, I find that just as important as the actual prayer time is the time I need to spend to quiet my mind beforehand. That daily rosary goes by without a snatch of actual meditation when I'm writing essays or emails in my head. Again, I have a hard time making excuses for my lack of a more dedicated prayer life when I know that I spend so much time doing far less important things.

This theme will, I hope, carry over into many more areas of my life – relationships, homework, purchases, etc. I have high hopes for this year; what are your goals?

A surprise from Church Ladies Down Under!

Your blog hostesses received a surprise in the mail yesterday from our Australian counterparts: a package containing bottles of Golden Syrup (you're right, ladies, we hadn't seen that before),

and a cookbook from the Country Women's Association of Australia,

containing such delightful-sounding recipes as "Puffaloonies", and several ingredients with strange names that we had to google (they turned out to be pretty common things like golden raisins and peppers).


The card enclosed with the package said (in part), "N.B. pages 170 & 172 for ANZAC biscuits, originally invented to sustain the soldiers of the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps." Naturally, that was the first recipe we tried, with delightful results.


Many thanks to you, Rosalind and Lucy, for your wonderful gift! It is much appreciated, and we'll be drinking a cup of tea to your health and saying a rosary for your intentions!

St Francis Xavier

"I love St Francis Xavier because of many things- his zeal, his charity, his footsore journeys across the world to bring light to the pagan. But I cherish him chiefly because his nature was so affectionate that, thousands of miles away from home and his brother Jesuits, he cut the signatures from their letters to him and pinned them inside his habit, next to his heart."
[Phyllis McGinley, Saint-Watching]

Image Source: Death of St Francis Xavier

Oh, Kitchen Scale, How Do I Love Thee?

My kitchen scale is this model, found for less than half of retail at Tuesday Morning.

When it comes to kitchen gadgets, I, like Alton Brown, try to eschew single-use items in favor of tools that serve many different purposes (my beloved waffle maker being the notable exception to this rule). In that vein, it should hardly be surprising that my kitchen scale ranks among my all-time favorites. Among the ways it earns its place on my rather limited countertops:

• European recipes, which are now readily available thanks to the internet, often use weights instead of measures
• Bread recipes that give weights for the flour produce a much more consistent product than measures (I compared once on a recipe that gave both, and found that a weight that should have measured 1 c. by volume was only 3/4!)
• Invaluable for changing the yield for recipes that call for 1 (15-ounce) can, etc., or for when your container size doesn't match up to those in the recipe. Fresh vegetables are also often called for by weight (e.g. 2 pounds of potatoes)
• Portioning out hard-to-measure types of pasta (2oz. dry pasta = 1 serving, regardless of shape)
• Not sure if you have enough yarn to finish that second sock or glove? Weigh the finished item, then the remaining yarn, and compare. If you're the type to plan ahead, you can use the scale to wind two exactly equal balls of yarn before you begin.
• Know exactly how much yarn you used for on a project, and how much is left by weighing the last partial skein. You can figure out the yards per ounce by dividing the amounts on the label. If both a weight and length aren't given, look up the yarn on Ravelry's database (registration required), or wind off and weigh 10-20 yards and use that figure.
• Use to estimate postage when you aren't sure whether to stick that extra stamp on.

The Church in culture

Save the Date card for the St Francis Seminary Rector's Dinner

Subway advertisement for Adoration

Year of Priests begins June 19

Faithfulness of Christ, Faithfulness of Priests

In preparation for the Year of Priests, Pope Benedict XVI has sent a letter to the priests of the world, calling on them to live out the words of St. John Vianney, “The priesthood is the love of the heart of Jesus.”

St. John Mary Vianney taught his parishioners primarily by the witness of his life. It was from his example that they learned to pray, halting frequently before the tabernacle for a visit to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. He was convinced that the fervor of a priest's life depended entirely upon the Mass: "The reason why a priest is lax is that he does not pay attention to the Mass! My God, how we ought to pity a priest who celebrates as if he were engaged in something routine!". He was accustomed, when celebrating, also to offer his own life in sacrifice: "What a good thing it is for a priest each morning to offer himself to God in sacrifice!" [full text, Pope Benedict XVI, Letter to Clergy]

The importance of a a phone call

Fr John:
"Well, Lucy, you are the only person on the face of the earth who remembered my ordination anniversary. Not a single other person did- not my parents, no one at the seminary or at the parish. I didn't remember it was my anniversary until halfway through morning Mass."

With ordination season in full height, anniversaries also abound. Don't forget to commemorate this important date with a note or phone call.

Today's assignment ...

Many thanks to our friends at The Art of Manliness for their  recent article on the art of letter writing.

In the days of cell phones, email, and text messages, letter writing can seem hopelessly outdated. But it’s an art worth bringing back, and not because of  some misplaced sense of nostalgia either. The writing and reception of letters will always offer an experience that modern technology cannot touch. Twitter is effective for broadcasting what you’re eating for lunch, and email is fantastic for quick exchanges on the most pertinent pieces of information. But when it comes to sharing one’s true thoughts, sincere sympathies, ardent love, and deepest gratitude, words traveling along an invisible superhighway will never suffice. Why?

Because sending a letter is the next best thing to showing up personally at someone’s door. Ink from your pen touches the stationary, your fingers touch the paper, your saliva seals the envelope. Something tangible from your world travels through machines and hands, and deposits itself in another’s mailbox. Your letter is then carried inside as an invited guest. The paper that was sitting on your desk, now sits on another’s. The recipient handles the paper that you handled. Letters create a connection that modern, impersonal forms of communication will never approach.

The Church Ladies are most enthusiastically in agreement with such wisdom and suggest the following as your assignment for the day:

1. Read the post for inspiration, links to supplies, and other practical advice.
2. Write a letter to at least one person this week.  (And at least one next week, and every week until it becomes a habit.)

Of course, love letters should be at the top of this list, but of equal value are letters encouraging others in their faith, and letters of appreciation to all those who make your life a little nicer in some way.   As so often happens, there is a great Catholic tradition of patrons to encourage us in this endeavor and it would be particularly appropriate to ask the intercession of the beloved Epistle writer, Saint Paul, in this year where we are celebrating his life.

Go!  Get off the computer and pick up your pen!

Image Credit: Gerard Terborch, Woman Writing a Letter found at the Web Gallery of Art

The Official Easter Card of Church Ladies

It features the Gregorian notation for "Ye Sons & Daughters!"

Available from the good monks at the Printery House

Bridehood Revisited

Let's face it, who really likes sugar almonds?

The Church Ladies present a unique idea for a wedding favor: a holy card.

I came across the idea in Faith and Family magazine doing research for a book while in school at Our Lady's University. And having thrown out a collection of trinkets such as personalized magnets, tea lights, and keychains when moving my grandmother out of her house, I am dubious to the merits of the traditional chatchkes.

A holy card is simple and elegant. It provides a lasting commemoration of the sacrament, and doesn't contribute to clutter. If used as a bookmark, it can be a reminder to pray for the couple.

My husband and I ordered the wedding feast at Cana cards from Aquinas and More. We begged really hard, and they personalized paper ones, rather than their standard laminate.

The back has our names, the parish, city, and date, along with a text we weren't able to work into our Nuptial Mass that had a lot of meaning for us:

Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins." [i Pt iv, 8]

We got so many compliments about the holy cards at the reception, and we were able to send extras to people unable to attend. All in all, it was a win-win situation.

From the Mailbag

Reader Micki wrote to inform us of her own way of organizing her holy card collection: namely, a blog with pictures of the cards (over 750, she says, to date!), along with various prayers and quotes. A personal favorite: the "Ave Crux, Spes Unica" card from last week. (Given your Blog Hostesses' great fondness for Our Lady's University, are you really Surprised?)

Reader Teresa in Germany (I presume from her address) writes about embroidery, and shares an image of her own handiwork:

I made a pall for a newly ordained priest, as a gift at his "Primiz"-greeting (after his first Holy Mass) and the sample was from this blog too. I'm looking forward to create a maniturgia. There are also groups on yahoo (sew4church and catholiccyberneedles), where people can compare notes about this matter.

Last but not least, a reader wrote to enquire about a source for "Pray for Priests" magnets in bulk. If anyone has such information, please do leave a comment.