Thursday, July 22, 2010

How NOT to pray a novena ...


In my recent search for novenas to Saint Martha I found a few wacky things. The "winner" was a novena that includes these directions for day nine:
On the ninth day, offer an eggplant (preferable to killing a goat) to St. Martha, and say: “I offer this living sacrifice (vegetables are living organisms) to you in exchange for granting me a safe and happy life. I will prepare it according to ancient ritual, and offer it to those I love as well as myself to consume. It shall contain your protection, and bring security, peace and protection to all who partake of this food. Holy Martha, hear my prayer and deliver my petition immediately, Amen.”

The following day, prepare the eggplant. In a bowl, mix flour, salt, pepper and nutmeg to taste. Sift these ingredients with your hands in front of the picture of St. Martha with a fresh candle to be burned all the while you are preparing the meal.

As you sift, you know you must empower every ingredient to ensure a favorable outcome. You concentrate on the earth energy rising through the soles of your feet, coursing through your body and exiting through your hands into the flour as you recite the ancient prayer: “Scongiuro te, o farina! Che sei il corpo nostro – senza di te non si potrebbe vivere – tu che prima di divenire la farina, sei stata sotto terra, dove sono nascosti tutti i segreti, porti i vostri segreti a questo pasto ed esponga coloro che desidera farmi danno.”

Confirming, once again, that the internet is a very strange place.

1 comment:

Molly Koop said...

Is it any wonder that protestants think we're pagans when this stuff is freely available? Oof. This kind of thing irks me! But then on the other hand, I was quite humored as well.